October 2012 – Poetry Is For Girls

Patients

To think you’re there alone
while I am busy with nonsense,
makes me sick beyond belief,
two months of lack of freedom.

It’s unlikely I’ll ever come up
with the letters that connect to
the ever increasing pain I feel
when we are distant.

You are my rock, my baby,
my love, my heart. I miss you
every day, when we’re together,
when we’re apart, I miss you.

And it’s endless, I know,
because I feel it endlessly.
A unique idea because I had
not loved until I loved you.

We are patients of patience
and it is painful, it is.
And “I miss you”
lacks adhesive, I know.

Not in the most ideal of conditions,
we push through with angst to what lies ahead.
But sometimes we run into each other,
and I can be too big.

I’m looking for a way out
of all that I do,
because as busy as I get
you are all I see, think, hear.

I only ever see the chai tea lattes,
your embrace amid the sheets.
I only ever hear your laugh and love
amid our endless dance.

I am merely being caught
in frustration of missing you.
You are not simply along for the ride;
you equally hold the map of routes of which we follow.

An off night
leads to the lack
of ability
to turn it off.

A quick sensibility, however,
results in thoughts of future,
an East coast neighborhood,
houses disimilar, filled with fog.

And mist that drips
during a 6 a.m. wake up call,
as I drift back to the west side,
of ports and surfers.

I think forget my possibilities,
and all that stands before me,
to recall my peaceful thoughts,
and fall asleep tonight.

If I ever needed a prayer,
I need one now.
Or a flux capacitor,
a crystal ball.

I’m slowly growing tired
of this slowly moving time,
as I make slow-motion contact
into a wall.

Falling off the cliff
of my homestay timeline.

And when I think ahead
for just a few moments
I’m able to breathe
knowing my heart
is solidly protected,
silently reciprocated.

I miss the days I’d wake up
to those big eyes
prior to hours
laying around.

I miss the days we’d lay at night
while I sang to you words
full of truth, heart
and watched our show.

But then I think ahead
for just a few moments,
and I’m able to breathe
knowing my heart
is solidly protected,
silently reciprocated.

Why is it we can’t seem to
catch a break
with our hands open
and desperate in disguise?

When all we ask for
is an extension in a series
of hours we happen to be present
around one another.

But not a single worry arises
when I open these eyes
to see the path we lay down
piece by peace.

To our three, four or seven.
Our fights and make ups.
Our travels, our laughs.
Your pencils, my trick tracks.

Three silly words lack fulfillment,
Meaning, answers, feeling,
Thoughts, laughs, smiles
To what it really is.

Our Earth circles and solves.
It spins and dissolves time
into infinite particle matter
we breathe.

I can no longer believe
in a planet minus you,
in a life minus you,
in a love minus you.

Terribly hard to describe
to those who will listen.
Perfectly effortless
while we reminisce.

Unprecedented.
I don’t know if ill ever
figure out how you cast this spell.
I know I like what I’m under.