Posts by Jonathan Gonzalez
Slow Drive
The rain falling calmly on the leaves
resembles a nighttime drive with you.
Like the peace that surrounds our words,
loud laughs. Not a worry.
A couch conversation
in a crowded room.
A few more laughs
and I can only hear you.
See you
Call it a protection of a possible disaster.
Yeah, that’s what we’ll call it.
Averting some bad future, bad history,
all at once.
Because I need the smoke to fill the room,
before I can realize where I am,
and maybe where I should be.
It only looks like home.
It’s hard to recall what the words meant
or describe the picture again.
I’ll never let what’s right for me
walk through that door.
Call it a flaw of the grain
found on silver screens;
false beliefs of the world
painted behind sunglasses.
Of Myra
It’s important to find the beauty
hidden in the ugliest times.
To find the lake hiding behind the castle
is a good place to begin.
Snow-capped hills fill the void
between the towers and the sky.
And fog wraps the fortress walls
inviting only the curious.
The shadows from the spires
paint the lake in blue and gray.
A motion reminder of the luck
we have surrounded ourselves with.
What I would give to wake up here,
walk into town, breathe Christmas air.
But the lights don’t match up right now,
and one day the snow will fall.
Should Say
Should you remind me
that we are all the same,
that true wants are always pulled out?
The walking bridges need to fall
down below the water and rocks they hover
above. The truth is you’re not
willing to give up anything.
And though you hate the robe,
you love to swing your gavel
down below the water and rocks you cover.
You’re just no surprise anymore.
And you’ve taken the friend out of friendship.
Clean the time out with soap and water.
J. J. Newberry Co.
Among the laughter
filling up the air with smiles,
this beautiful woman sits smirking
at the end of the table.
Aged and tired,
she recalls the times of 20 years prior,
looking to see if I could remember.
How could I forget?
61 and 4,
our trips to the store were magical.
Spoiled I was, always wanting a toy to play with.
Little has changed.
And her eyes gleamed
as I took over the storytelling.
She could not believe how appreciated
she’s been in my eyes all these years.
She’s my earliest memories,
my first adventures.
And as the sun sets,
I can only remember.
I love you forever,
for all that you have taught me,
And the smiles you gave me,
and this one that I gave to you.
The Realization
To taste you
I must waste all
that we tried to accomplish
for so long.
And to waste you,
I must continue
to bury every emotion
deep beneath the sand.
And as the sand blows away,
so does every remembrance
of a time once wondrous,
beloved.
And chronology is unsettling,
yet lasting.
And once it brings peace back to me,
I will forever yield before her.
The Lack
Three times not enough
to remind me
of candy-filled rooms
and flying whistles.
Of how warm the notes look
during Christmas time
in the park. I don’t see you
past the yellow leaves.
I once surrendered to
dazzling lights and
carousel music.
Looking to see it once again.
A pat on the back
is all I ever wanted
but never asked for.
Don’t feel I had to.
The Prior
I tie the bow back
on the gift you were to me.
I can’t open it.
I hand it back to you
as I stand up and turn away.
My head held high.
I sprint through the front door
and into my car
to drive as far as I possibly can.
The sun is shining,
normally annoying,
but today it’s charming.
Window down; need the air.
One second of breath
is all I had left from the despair.
Blood rolled from my tongue
as I closed my eyes
to speak to you.
A blow to the head
from some unexpected text
can turn even the most sane mad.
You maintained your innocence,
as I shot you down. Truthfully,
you are not guilty of anything.
I simply spent one too many nights
wrapped in a blanket, too warm,
asleep to the beat that my drum was making.
The rearview mirror now faces me;
eyes locked on myself. As I drive
to finish the song that’s blaring in my head.
The Search
I placed the curse on my search
with expectations set disastrously high.
Remember the playground days
of cute smiles and sandy eyes.
You know, I don’t remember
13 points down,
we are defeated.
One year spawns interest
for everyone’s sake.
Difficulty in living for others.
Try to walk the rocks that
separate the ocean waters
from where we’ve landed.
Walls of arrowheads and flint
target only the best intentions.
But blood and water soak the walls
and remind us of the hardship.
We are all the same,
as we climb the flights of stairs
to sit in an empty hotel room
in a city home to millions.
Searching for someone’s eyes
among billions of lights
that flicker down below
from our lonely leisure home.
What do you find?
That only you can find lights
to turn on when you push.
This is true.
Cold blankets never hold.
Search for one and not the other.
It can be hard
to let them come to you.
My hands are too slow,
I swear yours are faster,
like your ability to grasp me.
I will now grasp you.