Call it a protection of a possible disaster.
Yeah, that’s what we’ll call it.
Averting some bad future, bad history,
all at once.
Because I need the smoke to fill the room,
before I can realize where I am,
and maybe where I should be.
It only looks like home.
It’s hard to recall what the words meant
or describe the picture again.
I’ll never let what’s right for me
walk through that door.
Call it a flaw of the grain
found on silver screens;
false beliefs of the world
painted behind sunglasses.
Should you remind me
that we are all the same,
that true wants are always pulled out?
The walking bridges need to fall
down below the water and rocks they hover
above. The truth is you’re not
willing to give up anything.
And though you hate the robe,
you love to swing your gavel
down below the water and rocks you cover.
You’re just no surprise anymore.
And you’ve taken the friend out of friendship.
Clean the time out with soap and water.
I tie the bow back
on the gift you were to me.
I can’t open it.
I hand it back to you
as I stand up and turn away.
My head held high.
I sprint through the front door
and into my car
to drive as far as I possibly can.
The sun is shining,
normally annoying,
but today it’s charming.
Window down; need the air.
One second of breath
is all I had left from the despair.
Blood rolled from my tongue
as I closed my eyes
to speak to you.
A blow to the head
from some unexpected text
can turn even the most sane mad.
You maintained your innocence,
as I shot you down. Truthfully,
you are not guilty of anything.
I simply spent one too many nights
wrapped in a blanket, too warm,
asleep to the beat that my drum was making.
The rearview mirror now faces me;
eyes locked on myself. As I drive
to finish the song that’s blaring in my head.
Superficial.
You don’t deserve the attention.
A former constant struggle
should never have met my struggling lips.
You once craved it.
Now you have plenty,
but you’ll never get full
of glancing eyes and lustful winks.
You’re nothing but aware.
You don’t deserve the attention.
My honesty taken advantage
of something bigger than you, I hope.
My ego branded;
my statue still stands.
Yet you still throw coins in the my fountain,
a simple piece of the plan.
Like a book that’s been drowned,
I rip the pages to pieces as I pull them apart.
I’m just trying to read the words,
but damage has closed the message.
Some ink drips out on the table,
from beneath the small cracks that are left,
but it’s unrecognizable.
A bayonet sits right above your lips
and it hurts me every time we meet to kiss.
I am no doctor.
No magic pill here.
I know I came to fix you,
but I don’t know how to heal.
So, I’m on way to walk these plains
until I fall asleep under the trees
that help shade the mountains,
where I can drink from the river.
Until I awake once more,
and pull the grass from the hill
that I climb.
I will reach the top.
Take your tourniquet;
tie it tight.
I walk down my winding road
and may never cease my journey.
Sometimes I look both ways at green lights,
as if I expect for the cars
to come flying
through the intersection.
Or I feel bad for emptying
the world that I took down
myself, with two hands,
but with good intentions.
But no one could ever touch me.
I up here alone looking down on you,
wishing you had wings to fly
away from all that kills inside.
It hangs by a needle
on the blackboard.
The image captured
so well in four frames.
Look at the smile
I used to get by.
Our lips,
bang bang.
A year later
I couldn’t have told you
that I wouldn’t be able
to return to this place with you.
There was this door that hid
behind the vines that hugged
the brick wall
at the back of the yard.
It kept the words locked
like a safe. You’re hiding
from me. You are
far away.
As I look down upon the valley floor,
I can’t help but ask why
you got the short end of the stick.
I could see
before you,
But I didn’t experience
before you.
I wish I could trade spots baby
because you deserve more
than was ever given to you.
That bed has my name written all over it.
Lucky is all I was
and am today.
I haven’t earned anything
that I love to claim.