Sit in your car.
The windows up and the engine running.
Scratch your ticket of chance and fortune.
Did you win anything?
And the other.
Stand on the street corner,
on this cold and windy night.
Put your few dimes and nickels in the slot and pick up the phone to dial.
Where are you going tonight?
Where did it all go so wrong?
He tells you you’re beautiful but you think you’re ugly.
It’s because he hasn’t looked you in the eye in 10 years.
Those eyes.
The one’s that sob because you simply didn’t get what you wanted.
Life never worked out exactly how you had expected.
Well, I hope it gets better. I do.
So you, on the corner, make your walk back to the bus station.
And you, in the car, turn the key in your ignition.
Oh, how I wish you wouldn’t cry, on this cold and windy night.
And you were the one I grabbed
as the floor gave way in this room full of people.
And did you let go? You never let go.
You pulled me up.
And as the chaos simmered, as the smoke cleared,
I can see that everyone is still down.
They’re not moving.
Except for you.
You still have that smirk on your face.
And somehow I know exactly what you’re thinking.
“What’s with the over dramatics and the tears?”
Life’s for laughing.
And so I helped you up.
And we looked at the fallen and laughed.
Because with you I just laugh. And that’s okay.
It’s always okay.
When no one gave me a second glance you gave me a smile,
your ears,
your hands.
As you sleep tonight,
I am sorry for the grief I put you through.
The unfortunate victim behind a lie and a touch of lips.
I only did what I thought was right only to come up empty handed.
I can do the “I never meant to…”
And it sounds nice but I won’t, because I meant to.
I never faked a smile.
I never faked a laugh.
I always spoke sincere.
But I was far away. My heart with you, but for someone else.
And for that I speak to you my remorse.
Never did I lie.
I slept silently, comfortable in the house you made for me.
To this day and for all of the rest of them I will keep praise of you.
I’m always quick to defend.
There’s no way you will ever know how much you changed me and in that respect I thank you for it. Life wouldn’t be the same.
You were too selfless as I was too selfish.
I loved you. I did.
The sun rises behind me,
just enough to make out your words.
Because I must read lips,
As I cannot hear you.
But my eyes are too heavy to see.
I’ve been up all night.
Yell! Yell! You are too far away.
I couldn’t tell you yesterday,
that I would be standing here today.
Standing like this.
Man, I didn’t see it. I’m lost.
As you walk away to find yourself,
I become stranded, while I find the truth in life.
But what I find is the evil and I hope it’s a lie.
I look for the good and I must imply,
There’s something dangerous lurking tonight.
Irony.
Tonight! Tonight, the most beautiful night.
Is there anyone out there? Does anyone see what I see?
Show me your face. Take off the disguise.
Touch me with love. Don’t touch me with lies.
And how could I not be sorry?
I let you pass in front of me.
You went straight and I took a sharp left.
I almost flipped.
I never called you to tell you where I was headed or why.
I drove so far that I couldn’t turn back, as if my wheel was stuck or like I didn’t know my way back.
Well, I did.
But sometimes you pass the point of no return
Or at least you think you do.
When I turned I saw bright lights up ahead.
They were so shiny. It was so pretty.
You just kept driving.
Always stopping and asking for directions but your eye never left the mirror.
Well, let me tell you.
When I finally got arrived the lights turned off.
All of a sudden I couldn’t see anything.
There really wasn’t much to see.
It wasn’t so pretty without the colors and life.
And what sucks is that it took me so long to get there.
I did pick up a lot on the way though.
I saw so many different things. Tried everything they thought I wanted.
Things that were definitely not on our route.
So am I sorry I made that left?
How could I not be sorry?
Well, I’m on my way back to meet you now.
I don’t know how you’re gonna take it.
Or how we will.
I’m back where I made my left.
And I’m turning back towards you and I’m going as fast as I can.
It’s such a pretty route. It’s just different. You can’t speed by here.
I know when I get there though you’ll stop to say, “Hello.”
With open arms and a kiss… you are too quick to forgive.
And in light of my mistakes, you touch my dirty mouth.
And, well, yes at times I don’t think we should be doing this.
Come to bed, love, give me your lips.
Sweetie, let’s be honest.
You were just a pretty face
with lips I could taste
and paralyzing eyes.
But you were nothing but a facade
with a sign on the front that read
“Come here. I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted and more than what she could.”
How can I say you’re so bad though?
I fell for it. I fell for it.
The little trap you set to catch something so big, bigger than you.
You played your part convincingly.
You played it very well.
After all, we are nothing more than players on a big stage.
Such an elaborate production.
“Lies and Lust,” they called it
And you played the trophy wife.
Anything I wanted. The guts to back that up.
But it’s funny how art mimicks life.
To anyone who’ll listen, trust me, on paper, there’s nothing more you could ask for.
But this is life. There’s so much more.
I look around. I see so much history.
So much time. So many years past.
That’s my family.
So many experiences. So many places been.
For some it’s all winding down.
You can tell by the wrinkles on their faces.
For others its just beginning.
For me, well that’s still unknown.
So many stories to tell. So many songs sung.
Maybe too many.
But as chaotic as it might look it is all good.
They’re all good.
So tap your feet grandpa. Drink your beer dad.
Play the guitar and dance the night away.
The one thing about all these years of life and living is the clock on my grandmother’s wall.
The same clock that has hung there for years and years ticks away.
Breathe. It’s beautiful as it falls.
As we stand here, the rain covers us like a blanket full of life.
Every tingle from every drop a reminder of how alive we are.
It’s so soft as it falls.
Let it pour. We’re soaked.
“My favorite’s when it hits the water,” she says.
Let’s get back in the car.
“But it’s so pretty, don’t leave. It’s like it washes us away. The lies. The trouble. We get washed clean. We get exposed. When you’re this wet you can see right inside of me. I can’t run or hide. Niether can you. I see your fears. Your wants. I see your needs. More than in just your eyes. Look.”
As the sun comes out, it feels like dawn all over again.
The water stops. It’s pretty.
It smells clean. New.
You can see for miles. The fog moves. The clouds race.
It’s beautiful isn’t it?
“It is,” she says.
Do you really need to know what’s going on?
Do you really feel that you’re missing out when you’re not there?
It seems you stress on having fun. Shouldn’t it come natural?
God forbid your name be off the list! God forbid your name be off the list!
Slow down. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself.
You can’t let anything dramatic or bad happen now. That would just ruin the whole day!
Well, you’re right. How could I forget?
The fun is up to their standard and not yours.
Well, hurry.
You might miss your bus. It’s headed nowhere.
I hear it’s fun there though. You’ll have a blast.
Because, well you know, it just might not be there tomorrow.
And what would you do? You wouldn’t live.
I promise you. I’m not lying when I tell you there’s more to life.
But I get it. You have to catch up.
Well, hurry, there’s so much to do and such little time.
Let it go beautiful, a face like yours is too pretty to throw to the wolves.
Better yet, a face like yours is too pretty to throw away to the many ugly that stand in our way.
It’s okay. Take it all in. You only live once.
You surely can’t look back in life and think, “Wow. I missed out on so much.”
Love, I apologize for what I have done.
It seems as if I am just a passenger ready to board the next train,
and when stuck at the station, I am lost.
When I am not in motion, I run for my life.
Only so I don’t stop moving. Stopping is the worst thing I can do.
Because you see baby, I did something bad.
And if I stop now they’ll catch me.
You’re the only hideout I have in this world.
But the doors are closed. The windows, shut.
So, where do I go? I’ll keep on running.
I won’t stop until they catch me or until you do.
I’ll hop on every train, every car, every ride away from them.
And maybe if you don’t open that door,
I’ll find another one to walk right into.