I am no doctor.
No magic pill here.
I know I came to fix you,
but I don’t know how to heal.
So, I’m on way to walk these plains
until I fall asleep under the trees
that help shade the mountains,
where I can drink from the river.
Until I awake once more,
and pull the grass from the hill
that I climb.
I will reach the top.
Take your tourniquet;
tie it tight.
I walk down my winding road
and may never cease my journey.
“Keep letting him do the talkin’.
See where that gets ya.
Back to where ya started:
where everyone believes ya.”
But they shouldn’t.
Nah, they should be careful.
They can’t predict
the next move I’ll make.
It started with the seam,
before it moved to the collar,
and before I knew it,
my shirt was on fire.
Sometimes it takes a perspective
from the bottom of the mountain
to realize how tall you were
when you stood at the top.
I can almost feel the passport
in my hand,
clutched tightly.
Oh, this is humbling.
I’m not ready for it,
But my head is looking north,
and once I reach the top again
I’m never coming back down.
Everyone seems to be waiting
for the moment
in which I miss the step
and fall by the wayside.
But they don’t seem to understand
that I never fall,
I never crumble,
and I make the rules.
That was a cold walk home,
at least it didn’t last very long.
Time is just waiting
for me to give in.
Probably never speak of this.
Probably for the better.
The lack of emotion gets harder to read
with every letter.
I am here to move mountains,
not kick sand.
I am here to build cities
taller than the last.
I am here to erase our parents mistakes
by playing in the snow.
So bring a jacket,
it’s going to rain.
There’s something on fire over that mountain,
I don’t care.
I had a needle stuck in my arm today,
I just don’t care.
I’ve got chores around here that I could be doing,
But I don’t care.
I hear my phone ringing, new missed call,
I don’t care.
This probably isn’t a very good poem,
I just don’t care.
No one’s ever gonna read this,
But I don’t care.
I’m like a bullet idle in a magazine ready for its chance to fly.
I’m like a bomb waiting for the gun powder to trickle down to my eruptive explosion.
But Sweetie, I am not filled with anger.
I’m filled with beauty! ready to burst with a touch of potential.
I want to shower my surroundings in ashes of color.
I want the oxygen to turn blue.
And the mountains to turn green.
I want the moon to be white.
And the sun a yellow… with a touch of red and orange of course.
I want the ocean a teal.
The night sky slightly purple with a bright yellow stars like the pictures in a fairytale.
I want the clouds to be puffy pillows hanging from strings.
And the sidewalks to feel like a bed.
I want the fish to fly and the birds to swim.
The animals should talk and the trees should dance.
Knights in shining armor and princesses waiting for their kiss.
I want to get inside of your imagination and bring it all out and spread it all around for the world to see.
I want you to think and breathe.
I am a balloon ready to fly wherever the wind will push me until I burst all the beauty to those down below.
I love you all.
I have these routines.
Break them.
Thoughts of the way it’s supposed to be.
Break them.
A simple utopian complication.
Break it.
Ideas of pleasure from structure.
End it.
For every rose blooms differently.
Not one the same.
Anyone has a different story.
Adjustments must be made.
One can never believe 2 roses take the same amount of water.
How foolish.
And ever since that melody when I realized my jazz.
I saw and felt all that I wanted to see and breathe.
And it was the expression of my heart.
Harmonic freedom,
But I could see it when I closed my eyes.
It came in chaos and in peace.
Noise.
Animation.
Nonsense.
Cities.
Dirty electricity.
Fog and fire places.
Bricks And Castles.
Pleasing acceleration.
When all is right.
Lights.
Night.
Stars.
Steering wheels and my foot on the pedal that never let go.
Before the sun begins to sleep.
Early morning, and the reverb, and ever increasing volume and the smooth fall from space.
Space shuttles.
Moons and planets.
Sometimes you have to forget to remember.
And everytime I hear this jazz, my love.
When I intake these scents!
And I close my eyes and see the lights of the city from my balcony of my skyscraper apartment.
I look up to see the sky. A silent mirror. The stars a reflection of the lights below them.
Brilliance sweetie, brilliance.
And I could settle for a street lamp.
But I never thought to see this accompanied.
I always wished for presence.
But could never find one.
And I think, I’d love to go there, and I will not go alone.
I love you and you will come with me//
Sleep in love.jazz.harmony we will.
Harmony. I’ve heard that word all my life but today I realized what it means.
Don’t justify yourself for anyone
because they just won’t understand.
Never explain or give reason.
You are who you are because that’s who you are.
And it doesn’t matter how you got there or why,
Because you’re already there and that’s not changing.
So, the people that love you will accept what you give them.
And the people who don’t care will attempt to figure you out.
For I am me and simply me.
I wear my heart on my sleeve,
my face, my eyes,
my ears.
Test it. It’s stronger than you might think.
Regardless of the many people who need to understand,
I stand here the loneliest.
At the end of the day it’s only me who can comprehend me.
I long for the day that someone else does.
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